You Can Call it a Comeback

So many things have happened since last I posted.

I went to Georgia (and got to see some dear friends).
I went to Germany (and got to see almost none of it).
I broke my toe (the same one I broke last year).
I went trick-or-treating (with no parenthetical comment).

And that’s not really the half of it. I even neglected some things I e-mailed myself to blog about.

Waiting on the World to Change:

This song came out in August of 06. We were still at war (as we still are), and there was a lot of dissatisfaction about where the country was heading. Though it is a lovely song, it has always bothered (and somewhat irritated) me. The main theme is that the youth of today are unhappy, and feel they lack the power to effect the change they wish to see, so they will wait for the world to see things their way. I understand the feeling, honestly, but what kind of message is that? “This kinda sucks. Let’s just hang around; it’s bound to get better.” In the 1960s, blacks did not have the power to effect change. So, they did what they had to do to make things better. It hurt. It wasn’t pleasant. But it changed things – it made them better. No change has ever happened by itself. Nothing gets better without people standing up and making it better. If it sucks, fix it. It’s often not easy, and usually not fun; but if you really want change, you sacrifice for it.

This also touches a bit on something I’ve seen talked about in a few places. The proliferation of events to raise awareness for one thing or another. This isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Sooner or later, though, I have to ask “doesn’t everyone already know?!” Raising money for research, or to combat a disease/situation seems like a much more reasonable course of action. Reminding me that breast cancer exists doesn’t help anyone with breast cancer. Letting me know that 1 in 110 kids are on the Autism scale doesn’t help figure out what causes it. Doctors and scientists help, when they have the resources to do so. If you want to call attention to a problem, do so in a way that makes a difference.

Finally, though it’s not Thanksgiving yet, I’ve been inspired by an Angel, who’s posting something she’s thankful for every single day this month. I’m not so prolific, so I will do so every week.

I am thankful for the love of my family: the family I was born into, the family that has come to me, and the family that has no legal or blood tie but is family nonetheless. It may be a cop-out, but it’s the honest truth. There are so many people that could have just shut the door, could have let the bond wither and die as years and miles come between us, but didn’t. It warms my soul that I can talk to people who’ve known me almost as long as I have – whom I’ve not seen in longer than my kids have been alive – and still they share my joy and my sorrow (and I theirs). It brings tears to my eyes when I think that my wife’s family, who could have turned their backs on us and decided that I was not who they thought she should be with, greeted me with open arms and made me welcome in their homes and family. It brightens my life every time I pick up my boys and they run to me saying “Daddy!” or I see my wife and she smiles and draws me in for a tender embrace. You are all reasons my life is so wonderful.

For Shame

Never before have I been so ashamed to be from Florida. Not during the 2000 election debacle; not when confronted by the fact that FARK has given it its own tag; not ever.

Today, I hang my head and consider disavowing my home State. On the ballot this year, along with President, along with Congressmen, along with countless State and local officials, there was an amendment to the State Constitution to define marriage as being only between a man and a woman. To deny marriage rights to an entire section of people. I am ashamed because it passed. It more than passed. It won by a sizable margin. It won in every single precinct. Overwhelmingly, my fellow Floridians decided that if you love someone of the same gender, you don’t deserve the same rights as the rest of us. You are worth less as a citizen. You don’t get the same protection under the law, even if we have to change the highest law in the State to make it so.

There is a video on YouTube of a commercial for Proposition 8 (the CA version of the same amendment), where someone has replaced the words “same-sex” with “interracial” in the arguments for Prop 8. There is no rational way to listen to it and maintain that it is not base discrimination. Most of the arguments are even the same ones used in 1958 when Loving v. Virginia was being heard and talked about. In that judgment, the court wrote:

“Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.”

How can we say that this could not have been written about homosexuals? How can we say that sexual orientation is not protectable? How can we as a people have come far enough to elect a president who is a product of just such a marriage, and yet deny marriage rights so analogous? It makes me weep. I weep for the present, but I hope for the future, for I have learned from the past.

Chaps My @$$

I was just watching the end of a show on steroid use. (Yeah, there's not much on here.) They talked to a guy in a gym who was saying that athletes dope because we, as consumers, demand that records be broken. We demand performance beyond natural capability. We demand that they dope.

Now I'm pretty pissed off. Bullshit! I recognize that I'm not a typical "consumer," particularly when it comes to sports. However, I don't agree with his premise. I want to see the fastest human, not the best steroid cocktail. I want to see a competition of man against man (or woman, whatever), not man's drug regimen against man's drug regimen.

If you're gonna try to cheat the system, don't try to pass the blame on to the people you're cheating. That's just bullshit. If I copy off the guy next to me in a test, I can't blame my parents for expecting me to pass. The blame falls entirely on me for cheating. If there is any dishonesty I find more distasteful than any other, it's intellectual dishonesty.

%&$(^&$*!!!

I've been at the same base for over 10 years now. As the son of a military member, this is just wrong. As an active duty member of the military, it's wrong. But it seemed that it wasn't going to change, so I decided to give the situation a little nudge. I volunteered for a 1-year remote assignment to South Korea (that means without my wife and sons). The way this works is that by volunteering, I get to choose where I get to go. Obviously, there are limitations; they've got to be able to find a job for me and whatnot, but I get some good consideration.

I get the assignment to Korea, I get a follow-on assignment to Denver, just like I asked. Sweet! Three days ago, I get the news: they can't send me to Denver anymore. They won't find a place for my wife to work nearby. I'm told that there are two places they can send me/us in that timeframe. Langley (where we are now), or Beale (a similar but worse assignment in the middle of nowhere, CA).

I'm livid and depressed at the same time. We've complained to a couple of our higher-ups, but chances are, there's nothing they can do. My dream assignment evaporated into the ether. I was going to have great mission, most of my family very close, and a beautiful new area; now I'll have the same thing I've had for TEN YEARS.

What did I volunteer for?

Is it really MY Space?

Yes, I have a MySpace account. I know...hang my head in shame and all that. I originally created it after seeing 3 reports in the same week about pedophiles getting access to kids via MySpace. And while Ryan is only 5, there will come a day when he will "have to have" an account. I want to be more informed than many parents are. I want to know what is possible and what isn't. What information is shared or not on a "private account."

Anyway. I have (I think) 14 "friends." Although I quotated that, all but Tom are actually friends of mine. I don't add lightly, and that is what brings me here to type. I get anywhere between 2 and 7 friend requests per week that all turn out to be porn-spam. They lead to an account with the same stupid profile, the same stupid claims, and the same stupid link to "my pics that MySpace won't let me post here."

Sometimes, it amuses me; usually it annoys me; occasionally it really chaps my buns. I mean, really. If someone is looking for porn, they'll find it (I know, I do). There's really no need to solicit random folks by the thousands. Particularly in a venue that specifically prohibits it. What's the freaking point?!

I do occasionally get a request from a stranger that doesn't appear to lead to porn. It's almost refreshing. I usually respond with a polite message saying that I don't normally add strangers ("but if you're a friend of a friend, join the party"). I don't think I've ever gotten a response.

[shrug]

There's always tomorrow.

Mama Said, Mama Said!

Well, Tuesday was probably not the worst day of my life, but certainly the worst in recent memory.

Saundra has to go to San Antonio for a week. Her gestational diabetes didn't go away after Tristan was born, so after looking at her records and steadfastly not talking to anyone who might know, a "board" decided that she should separate from the Air Force. None to pleased with that decision, she's going to fight it. But, to do that, she had to fly out to the main AF hospital at Lackland AFB: Home of Basic Training.

So, Tuesday, she flew out. On the way to see her off at the airport, traffic on I-64 came to a sudden stop (as traffic on I-64 does sometimes). I, however, did not come to a stop suddenly enough, so the car in front of me helped, by putting its bumper in my headlight and its tailpipe through my bumper. D'oh! No people are injured (thanks HoTei!). My car has seen better days, but it's still completely drivable. Off to Norfolk Airport!

Did you know that if the flyer is on military orders, you can get a pass to go to the gate with them? I found that out. Unfortunately, I was in my uniform, and had to take off my belt, boots, coat, security badge, and all sorts of hideously inconvenient things to do so. The boots were the tough part since my recovering knee does not much like the twisting wrenching that sometimes occurs when donning/doffing combat boots. So anyway, I sit with her at the gate for a while. We commiserate a bit about the car. I wish her good luck and godspeed, and head on my way to work. I'll have lots of stuff to catch up on.

And I do.

At the end of the day, it's my first time to pick up both the kids with no help from Mommy, and I make it through intact. On the way down I-664, the car decides that it's had it up to here with that right front tire, which storms out in a huff. I sit on the side of the interstate silently listing all the cursewords I know. I call the insurance company to send someone out to give us a tow, and their automatic call back service that tells you who will get there when says it'll be an hour. I review all the cursewords I know, and make up a few.

Luckily, he gets there in 15 minutes instead. I have an infant and a 4 year old with me and they're going to get hungry quickly. We wait at the tire place for an hour or so, get some snacks to handle the oldest while the young one naps, and eventually head home where I proceed to get absolutely no sleep. Guess some days just won't die.

"But I'm feeling much better now."

--Beav

What to do?

I've been couch-bound for several days now. Not too bad; I've got a satellite system and TiVo on the TV and a high-speed internet connection.

However, my wife is also home with me. Good news, as she is immensely helpful (and besides, I like being around her). But she is also competition for the TV, which means that half/most of the time, I'm stuck watching the crap...I mean quality programming that I don't normally watch and she does. Normally, I would go into the office or upstairs, but lately that's not as feasible an option. D'oh!

I've also come to find that the places I normally visit on the web don't take more than a couple hours, and I don't have the imagination to spontaneously come up with more places to go. I did find They Might Be Giants' home page today. And pages on Wikipedia where people discuss the meanings of lyrics.

So, help me out, everybody. Find some interesting places to visit.

--Beav (Where do I want to go today?)

Stop the world. I'm leaving.

Putting unrelated riders onto "must-pass" bills; putting their own bottom line or narrow viewpoint ahead of the interest of the nation; what do we pay these bozos for again?

Congress passed a port security bill on Friday. Attached to that bill was a provision outlawing all gambling (other than horse-racing and the lottery) over the internet. I must have missed the port-side terrorist threat that gambling incurs. Anyone care to explain? Heck, I missed the threat entirely. Why does it need to be illegal at all? What makes it different from live gambling (which is regulated by the States)?

Unfortunately for us all, there is the Law of Unintended Consequences. The Law of Unintended Consequences holds that almost all human actions have at least one unintended consequence. In other words, each cause has more than one effect, including unforeseen effects. Some of the consequences are listed in this blog entry.

That doesn't even include the effect of government meddling needlessly in its citizen's lives once again. We need less government, not more; more autonomy, not less. A great many individuals in this country are too stupid to come in out of the rain, but that does not mean the government needs to ban showers or walking under an open sky. The Constitution was written to establish that we need a government to handle some few matters that the people individually were not capable of, or were unsuited to, and everything else was left to The People. As far as I can tell, every single Founder tried their best to keep the government out of the everyday lives of the people. "As long as they're not hurting anyone else, let them do as they will," they might have said. What the Hell happened?!

--Beav

Hate is such a hateful word

There is one person in the world I hate. I don't like to say hate...let's just say that I loathe and detest her with all of my being. It's not something I'm proud of. But, in the interest of perhaps purging (without all the binging to go with it), I'd like to tell the tale.

I was working a mid, having one of those discussions you only really have on a midshift. I tell a buddy about a girl I knew who tried to convince me that the Bible specifically prohibits interracial relationships (disclosure: I am a white man married to a black woman). She had quoted to me "...shalt not keep your sheep with your oxen, nor your oxen with your sheep." (though I can't find it now, I did look it up and it seems to be a simple warning about keeping your sheep and cattle separate) She claimed that it was a metaphor for the races. So anyway, I tell this little story to Petey, and Kathy (my nemesis) chimes in from the front of the room "That's right!" I was stunned. Literally speechless for a minute, as I swung slowly to face her. I was amazed on 2 different levels, actually. First, that she could be in the military (Navy) and still believe that. Second, that she could be in the military and state that belief out loud. You can get in serious trouble saying things like that.

"What?"
"Yeah, the bible says that."
"Ok, so my basic summary of Jesus' message to mankind goes something like 'let's all get along.' How does that begin to jive with a racist message like that?"
"Well, it was different in Biblical times...with the 12 Tribes...you had to keep the bloodlines pure."

This is where it really started to sound like Hitler to me, and the anger started to bubble past the puzzlement. (And, I have to admit, I made a bit of a jump, logically.)

"Kathy, what is impure about my marriage?"

She sputtered to a halt, and we didn't really say anything after that. I went for a long walk out in the parking lot and was unable to speak to her for roughly a week.

Even apart from this fun tale, Kathy is/was my antithesis in every way. She seems on the side of ignorance, championing its cause. She actively avoided gaining any knowledge, and seemed dead-set on ensuring that same attitude in her young son. She also had a policy of bringing a new toy home to him every single day. I cannot fathom a course of action more likely to make him an absolutely miserable adult. Shortly before Christmas, she informed me that I was getting a divorce because I was going to surprise my wife with a tool set (that she had specifically requested) instead of jewelry (that Kathy insisted was what she really wanted). Any refutations that I knew something about my wife were met with insistence that I just didn't know women.

Insane.

But my day's not all hate and loathing...I followed the links on Kris's blog the other day, and one of them found my weakness: online quizzes. So, I've got a few results I'll share with you in the coming weeks. First: my Five Factor Personality Profile.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Have fun!

--Beav